I am definitely not a trained tightrope walker, but this whole ‘mom’ thing often feels like a balancing act fit for the circus! I know I am not the first person to embark on this journey, and I am most certainly not the last. That, however, does not diminish the feelings of craziness and chaos I feel on any given day.
In the midst of my new, sometimes crazy life I have this overwhelming sense of pressure that I MUST have everything under control at all times. I am still trying to figure out whether the pressure is self imposed or if people around me really feel like I should have my act together by now. It seems like for the first few months of parenthood, everyone is very understanding of the whirlwind that is your new life. There is this expected ‘adjustment’ period where no one judges if the house isn’t clean, food isn’t cooked, or you don’t look quite put together. After all, you are a new mom and are still ‘adjusting’. However, as the months continue, I have started to feel this mounting pressure to ‘get it together’ start to set in.
As my sweet little love gets older, I constantly feel like I am a hamster on one of those running wheels. Those poor little things; I am never quite sure if they are running towards or away from something….but they just keep going and going! For me, what used to be lack of sleep has now become running around after my little love on the move, and I just feel like I am always playing catch up.…going round and round. As exciting as motherhood is (and fatherhood….shoutout to all the dads out there!), it is also exhausting…in the most wonderful way. NOTE: After reading this over again, I realized it may seem like I am complaining. Let me say that I absolutely LOVE being a mom, and there is nothing else I would rather be doing at this time in my life. I am also being very honest….it can be absolutely tiering.
The great thing about writing (that I think that I have mentioned in a few of my other post) is its cathartic qualities. Writing each word of this blog post has really made me think about the whole concept of a ‘balancing act’, and I have come to the conclusion that it is time for me to revise what that looks like in my life. The reality is that I have a new baby, and that requires a lot of my attention. Instead of feeling pressure to make sure everything is tightly sewn together, I have decided that it is time to give myself a little slack…even allow for some fraying around the edges!
Starting today, I am giving myself the permission to openly feel frazzled and I encourage any of you feeling the pressure to be the ‘perfect mom’ to do the same. I am starting to realize that there is no such thing as ‘the perfect mom’ and it’s pretty liberating. Sometimes my family will have take out during the week because we don’t have the time and/ or energy to cook something ourselves. Sometimes my house won’t be spotless when you come over. Sometimes I won’t know exactly what to do or what to say because I don’t have all the answers. And sometimes, the fact that I actually managed to brush my hair & teeth and put clothes on is a HUGE win, so I might not look completely put together. I have a sweet little boy and an amazing husband who I love spending time with, and although I do think it is important not to let everything fall off the rails all the time….I am starting to be OK with the fact that my life might seem a bit more chaotic/messy/unravelled….Because my heart has never been so full 🙂 and it feels amazing! That’s my ‘Parenting Balance’.
What has helped you achieve your ‘Parenting Balance’?